Confession Time…

Hello, my name’s Janine, and I’ve been a Very Bad Slimming World Member over the past…  Well, I was going to say ‘year and a bit’, but in all honesty it’s been a lot longer than that.

Let’s roll the clock back to 2012.  I joined Rachel’s Monday night group in May, and just didn’t look back.  The weight kept dropping off me, and before I knew it I was nearly 4.5 stone down.  And then I became a consultant and changed to a Tuesday group.  It didn’t feel that it had quite the same fit, and I lost my mojo a little, and eventually started weighing at my own group instead.  At the same time, an old school friend had got in touch via Facebook because he’d seen me checking in at the gym, and he had an offer going with Prudential where you would get health insurance and all kinds of rewards for attending the gym and being more active.  It sounded so good, and I was keen to sign up. And then he rang me at work one lunch time, and said that Prudential wouldn’t cover me for the cost he’d quoted, because (in his words), I was obese.  I can’t even describe how that made me feel.  All those weeks and months of effort, all that weight I’d lost, and here was someone telling me it still wasn’t enough, and I was still obese.  Either way, I completely lost my way, Slimming World wise at that point.

At the time, I gave myself the excuse that it was because I was now a consultant.  Everyone had told me that it was more difficult to keep losing weight because your focus is on your members and not on yourself, and so I told myself that no-one was expecting me to do well any more.  Looking back now, I think it was a combination of that and what Nicholas had said about me being obese, if I’m entirely honest.  The obese comment really stung – it was actually years before I could tell anyone apart from my mum, and those who were in the office at the time and heard my reaction.

The consultant thing didn’t go so well – it was so hard to focus on growing the group when working full-time, and after about nine months I gave it up and was looking forward to being a member again.  Except I never really got that mojo back, and I’ve kept on gaining weight, until I’ve reached the point where I’m probably a stone heavier than I was when I first joined in 2012.

Enough is enough.

Last Monday I decided to rejoin, and I went along to the group nearest to me.  It was a disaster – there were only eight people at Image Therapy, no atmosphere, no food talk, no motivation.  I was sitting beside someone who’s lost 7 stone and that might have motivated me but for the fact that she was so busy ordering a pizza on her phone that she didn’t realise she’d won Slimmer of the Week!

So I’m not going back to that group.  Instead, tonight, I’m going back to where it all began, with Rachel on a Monday night.  And this time I have to do it.  This is the last chance saloon for me with Slimming World.  If I can’t get my head back into it this time, I don’t know what I’ll do.

So that’s it – confessions done.  Now it’s time to put on my positive pants and crack on.  I can do this!